For those of you who didn’t get to witness the spectacle where Ann Coulter (America’s conservative firebrand extraordinaire) proclaimed she was going to campaign for Hillary if McCain becomes our nominee, on Fox last week, you missed quite a display; and it was a hoot!  Even the Fox staff behind the cameras couldn’t contain its laughter.

Devoted readers of this column know Ann Coulter has been its subject on more than one occasion.  My infatuation starts because she’s good looking (I have priorities), but she also flies broadly into the politically correct dogma and chastises it every chance she gets.  That I quite enjoy. 

Plenty of good looking conservative commentators (Michelle Malkin, Debbie Schlussel, Laura Ingraham, Star Parker, etc.) offer scathing rebuke for liberals and their retarded policies, but none do it quite like Ann.  Let me give you an example: 

July 26, 2004

“Here at the Spawn of Satan convention in Boston, conservatives are deploying a series of covert signals to identify one another, much like gay men do. My allies are the ones wearing crosses or American flags. The people sporting shirts emblazoned with the “F-word” are my opponents. Also, as always, the pretty girls and cops are on my side, most of them barely able to conceal their eye-rolling.”

“Now that’s funny, and I don’t care who you are!”  Sorry Larry.

I’m sure this latest John McCain rant jacked her Amazon book sales.

It’s bad enough idiot liberals jump on the hate Ann bandwagon like dogs after the proverbial “bitch in heat”, but when conservatives start bewailing, it leaves you scratching your head.  Don’t you bozos know she’s selling books?

Conservatives must have questionable IQ’s dispersed across its ranks just like liberals do.

If you look at a graph tracking visitors to Ann Coulter’s website you’ll see it looks like a damn lightning storm; every time she opens her trap she gets a spike.  Whether she gets book sales or not, we need somebody reminding America when our politicians go off track and Ann’s consternation over John McCain’s policy initiatives and his choice in congressional allies is heeded by anyone who understands conservative ideology.

McCain-Feingold is an egregious assault on free speech, and impairs liberty.

McCain’s opposition to “water-boarding” ties our intelligence official’s hands and denies them tools which will avert future terrorist attacks.

McCain’s a global warming advocate for crying out loud, that’s really whacky.  Not long ago liberals were screaming about AIDS in Africa killing everyone on the continent; now that it has been proven to be overblown hype no one wants to talk about it.  When I was a kid in school global-cooling was the big problem.  Five or ten years from now when global-warming is unequivocally shown to be bull, no one will talk about it and Democrats will never be held accountable for their mendacity.  (Only conservatives are ever held to a standard.)  McCain’s support of this dubious “scientific” prognostication is ridiculous.

McCain voted against the Bush tax cuts.  That by itself raises the ire of anyone who understands what liberty and freedom are about.  McCain suggests that aggressive interrogation techniques are offensive to our moral foundations and heritage, yet I guess absconding with an individual’s compensation for work and investment is reasonable.

In spite of all this, the most lasting legacy a president leaves is his choice in Supreme Court Justices.  Hillary Clinton will definitely appoint ones who believe the Constitution is a “living document” which needs to be “interpreted”, where the right to bear arms shall not be infringed means, the government must take our guns away.

I’m not sure McCain will be much better than Clinton in his appointments, but I’m willing to risk it.

As for you Ann, if you really have lost your marbles and have forgotten how the first Clinton administration illegally prostituted the office of the presidency for personal gains and donations to the Democratic Party, traded missile technology to China for campaign contributions, abused government power by having faithful White House employees harassed by IRS audit, and promoted the whole Travelgate debacle by replacing entrenched loyal travel office workers with Clinton cronies, not to mention Hillary’s involvement in questionable cattle futures, Whitewater, Vince Foster, etc., I’ve got a book you need to read:

It was written by a bright gal I know:

High Crimes and Misdemeanors.

 

UPDATE: Ann’s column this week has a conclusion that’s tough to argue with.

 

Copyright 2008  Jim Pontillo