Dear Hugo Chavez,

I did like you asked and read that book, Hegemony or Survival, by that committed anti-American lunatic Noam Chomsky.   While Mr. Chomsky masquerades as a thoughtful dissenter, he is nothing more than a tired old leftist unable to learn from social failures in China, the Soviet Union, the Eastern Block, and now Venezuela.  

Mr. Chomsky’s ubiquitous use of quotations alerts us of an authoritative posture and a knowledgeable store of information which he flings down upon readers from a sanctimonious perch.   Unfortunately, the unending citations, which keep reminding us how much he knows, make it difficult to get through sentences without having to reread them over and over.   All the while he beats us into submission with prose so dry and devoid any humor, rhythm, or poetry, that it’s tough to stay awake.  

By the time I fought my way through a couple chapters I found I was just trying to claw to the end so I could proclaim I did it!  

It is very difficult to make any kind of analysis when a work is such a chore to read, but Mr. Chavez, I am a dedicated trooper and I wanted to make sure that perhaps I was not missing something about leftist ideology which you so proudly embrace and deride Americans for not holding more dear.  

I can confidently tell you I didn’t find the illustrious pot of gold, and it wasn’t for not trying (I am a very hard worker).  

Problem is, words only possess convincing argument when they can be attributable to veracity witnessed in the real world.  

After you get past Chomsky’s historic and conceivably factual regurgitations you are still battered by tired and predictable propaganda.   Years ago, talking about Daimler’s intention to build automobile factories in Alabama, Chomsky proclaimed it was a corporate willingness to deliberately reduce the standard of living for workers that drove the evil auto manufacturer, never acknowledging that perhaps market competition drove the company to reduce its costs; as if insuring misery upon workers was somehow a corporate directive.

No matter how Hegemony or Survival obliterates clear and understandable language to distract the reader, it doesn’t change the fact that this thesis is ridiculous: The U.S. will not survive if she tries to be too strong.  

I am sure Harry Reid and John Kerry agree with you, but any school boy who’s endured a fist fight will tell you that’s a bunch of crap.

Now I’ll give it to you that Noam Chomsky’s style is so dull and mind-numbing, that by the time you get to his vituperate attacks on the Bush administration, as a reader, you really have too little energy left to put up any passionate resistance.   Instead you slog through paragraph after paragraph passively acknowledging this guy is off his rocker.

In spite of the fact that I am not too keen on your book recommendation, I must admit I quite enjoyed your fire in brimstone speech at the United Nations.   Probably not quite as colorful as something we would expect to hear from Al Sharpton, but easily as humorous as something emanating from Al Franken, Charlie Wrangle, or that Abscam dickhead Jack Murtha…and I would say your delivery was much better.  

So what was it I was so suppose to learn from this book Mr. Chavez?   Can I call you Hugo?  

The United States of America is going to be in big trouble if we don’t heed the warnings of a whacked out University leftist endorsed by a little piss ant dictator?

It is nice that you’ve got that Iranian Holocaust denier, the Cuban guy with great health care programs (according to Democrats and Michael Moore), and a North Korean knucklehead all on your side; all that and a few hundred atom bombs, and you’re still nothing but a defiant little shit.  

I know you’ve also got Sean Penn, Danny Glover, and Harry Bellefonte, and for that I am truly envious.  

Your book recommendation did introduce me to one concept I was intrigued by.   In this torturous diatribe Chomsky laments the United States policy of venturing to expand its dominating strength and influence.  

Imagine that.  

What State doesn’t do that?  

What you really are ticked about is your inability to exert influence as we do.   Welcome to the real world.

Let me indulge one more school days recollection and recall how I wasn’t the biggest kid in the class and had to endure the taunts and ridicule of bigger kids.   I was never going to be big enough or strong enough to kick the crap out of Arnold Schwarzenegger, and I wasn’t going to be quarterback for the Raiders either.   I wasn’t even likely to go to college and climb the corporate ladder.  

I recognized I might be able to work hard, earn some honest money, and perhaps through the experiences I was capable of, make a difference in our world.

That, Mr. Chavez, is called being a grown up.

If I tried to kick Arnold’s ass I’d have been squashed like a bug.

Compared to the United States, you my friend, are not even a bug.


James V. Pontillo II
American Patriot


Copyright 2007 Jim Pontillo

5 thoughts on “Dear Hugo Chavez,

  1. I too have slogged through Chomsky’s diatribes…no, ‘diatribe’ would indicate some level of passion, and passion is one commodity of which Noam is devoid.

    Perhaps I simply don’t understand. I don’t believe I am stupid. I do have degrees in literature, though I believe them to be wasted if applied to Chomsky’s work because he himself creates so very little. An examination of the thoughts and quotes and endless notes demonstrate a man so devoid of original thought that he is driven to regurgitate the words and beliefs of others in order to create some form of order or proof supporting his most basic anti-capitalist thesis. In short, “I, Noam Chomsky, am so intelligent, that I must defend from exploitation what I know to be the ignorance of the masses (from whom I am thankfully completely segregated) by protecting their simple, gullible, and most of all, undisciplined minds from the vile, corporate republic. This I must do, building upon the works of Chairperson Mao, Dr. Sun Yat-sen, Vladamir Lenin, and especially Mssrs. Roget and Bartlett.”

    Chomsky does use quite a few large words for Chavez though. I bet little Hughie is adorable twirling his hair, squinting his eyes, and trying to sound out ‘capitalista.’

  2. I have noticed that people who only see one side of an issue haven’t really bothered to do the homework necessary to come up with a valid informed view.

    That seems to be what most of Hugo Chavez’s statements are. Uninformed and inflammatory.

    Its like watching a drunk poke a bear with a stick.

    Its fun for him now, but what is he going to do when the bear finally gets fed up?

    He has already pissed off Spain which is the second largest investor in South America.

    The only other country that invests more is the US which is the object of his ridicule and inflammatory comments.

    Keenan Hill

    Generally fed up with polititions in general.

  3. Great column, Jim!
    Chavez is surely a dangerous guy. But mostly to his own people who seem to be going along with his plan to create a “socialist paradise”.
    But my problem is more personal and simple.
    I love going to the movies!
    But those idiot hollywood knuckleheads keep going down to Venezuela to kiss “ooogo’s” ass and be photographed with him.
    So, I won’t pay a dime to see their movies.
    Now, Kevin Spacey has joined the list.
    And he was one of my favorites.

  4. Pingback: The Patriot’s Den at » Guantanamo

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