Last Fall Maureen Dowd of the New York Times wrote of Barack Obama, he’s imperfect, his ears stick out, he smokes, he’s written about wrestling with pot, booze, and maybe a little blow as a young man.

Weeks later Obama confronted Dowd over, of all things, her comments about his ears!

I just want to put you on notice I was teased relentlessly when I was a kid about my big ears.

Terrific, the next leader of the free world’s greatest concern is a taunt about his ears.   We have a child running for president.

Revisionists have been protecting Obama by explaining his words with Dowd were only jest in kind, and I would say it is probably advantageous to overlook the absurd and give him the benefit of the doubt.

The charges that Obama is an inexperienced neophyte are probably way overblown.

Since then, however, absurdity has been a permanent fixture of his campaign:  

In his bid for president Obama has visited all 57 States, with only one or two to go.

Tornadoes in Kansas have killed 10,000 Americans.

Barack Obama was born in 1961, a result of his parents coming together due the Selma march of 1965.

On Memorial Day, Obama thanked all of the dead people in his audience as he remembered their sacrifice.

Obama’s grandfather helped liberate the Jews at Auschwitz but Obama’s uncle wasn’t Russian and it was the Russian’s who liberated Auschwitz.

In Sioux Falls, S.D. Obama declared, Thank you, Sioux City I’ve been in Iowa for too long.

On Afghanistan, Obama lamented, We only have a certain number of them (translators), and if they are all in Iraq, then it’s harder for us to use them in Afghanistan.     Of course the languages in Iraq are Arabic and Kurdish and the Afghanis speak Farsi and or other non-Arabic languages.

On Iran, they don’t pose a serious threat to us tiny countries with a small defense budget can’t do us harm.

On Venezuela, No wonder, then, that demagogues like Hugo Chavez have stepped into this vacuum complaining President Bush policies were responsible for elevating Chavez to his position as despot of Venezuela even though Chavez came to power during the Clinton Administration in 1998.

While the media has skewered McCain for being an out of touch old man unable to even use a computer, Obama proclaimed, We don’t have the technical capacity to create something like that” about a doctored video promoting Obama’s campaign any twelve year old with an Apple computer could make.   Turns out the video was created by a firm hired by Obama’s campaign.

Discussing enemies Obama said, it’s not just terrorists or just Hezbollah or just Hamas, it’s also cynicism.”   Just think if we weren’t so damn cynical those planes would have never knocked down our buildings on 9/11.

In Dreams of My Father, Obama writes about a story in Life Magazine that influenced him, about a black man trying to bleach his skin white, but no article in Life magazine was ever published.

While the main stream media goes on and on bestowing Obama with adoration for his impeccable oratory skills, chastising McCain as Bush part 2, Obama had this to say:

What they’ll say is it’ll cost too much money, but you know what, it will cost, about, it it will cost, about the same as what we would spend it, o over the course of ten years, it will cost what it will cost us, it, hah hah, all right, O.K., we’re going to, it will cost us about the same as what it will cost for abooout, hold on one second, I can’t hear myself, a but I’m glad you’re fired up out there, I’m glad

Bush sounds downright intelligent after that.

A gaffe master is one thing, but on flip-flopping, Obama is no piker either:

After opposing the government’s eavesdropping program giving legal immunity to telecommunications companies he now supports it.

On a questionnaire asking about gun control Obama answered yes to the following questions:

Do you support state legislation to:

a. ban the manufacture, sale and possession of handguns? Yes.

b. ban assault weapons? Yes.

c. mandatory waiting periods and background checks? Yes.

After the Supreme Court overturned the District of Columbia’s gun ban, Obama said he favors an individual’s right to own a gun.

Obama rejected public financing for the general election after earlier promises to accept it.

When the Supreme Court outlawed the death penalty for child rapists he lamented the decision even though he has been steadfastly against capital punishment.

Obama proclaimed he was against NAFTA, but now he supports it.

As a legislator concerned over Palestinian suffering Obama addressed the Israeli lobby with so much enthusiasm you’d thought he was about to convert to Judaism.

The flag pin Obama called a substitute for real patriotism and refused to wear he now proudly sports on his suits.

Obama’s flip-flops are not flip-flops and his gaffes are not gaffes, these are just little details that shallow people focus on while this exciting Renaissance man ventures to give us all real change , and why the main stream media doesn’t burden us with these silly facts.

If we elect John McCain for president, we’ll never get that thousand bucks a piece from oil company profits and we’ll never be able to realize all we had to do to avoid this energy crisis was tune up our cars and fill our tires with air.

Obama is really not as dumb as evidenced by his repeated speaking errors; he is just much more interested in style than substance.   Facts are a ridiculous nuisance for a guy when he’s got such important history to make by being America’s first black president.  

I am looking forward to his inaugural address where the coolest rock-star Commander-In–Chief   we’ve ever had wows us all by doing a fly-by around the newly repainted Black House and lands softly at the podium using nothing but those big ears for the flight.


Copyright 2007 Jim Pontillo

20 thoughts on “DumbObama

  1. McCain is just as bad with gaffes and mix-ups and flip-flopping. It’s a terrible election cycle all around.

  2. Obama is much too smart to paint anyones house black, he will paint it grey as to not offend anybody (except maybe cadavers – do they vote? oh thats right, many of them vote democrat) on second thought maybe a black exterior would be just the touch to set off the interior motif of leopard skin sheet covers, red velvet wall paper, and many gold painted plaster-of-paris accoutremounts similar to the ones adorning reverand Wrights 10,000 sq ft ode to good taste. (also smackdab in the middle of wight central)

    As far as claiming the historical niche of being the the first black president, that simply must be a well deserved reward for his stellar performances as an Illinois senator, because I am quite sure that every one of those 95 plus percent of black voters who pulled the lever for him in the primaries (and will do so in the general) did it after many hours of painstakingly weighing each and every issue of the day against the pros and cons of his adversary, and by deductive reasoning skills guided only by fairness and not the color of his skin………..all 95 percent of them……..yeah…….thats what I’m thinkin here.

    He is not just an empty vessel, he is a vessel of color and pazzaz! and one to be reckoned with, just look at the polls.

    His inaugural babbling should sound something like this: “ask not what welfare can do for you, but what you………”

    P.S. I’m not saying he’s shallow but I have it on good authority he purchased an ear-stretching device from walmart years ago when Ross Perot was all the vogue and snatched all those republican votes.

  3. “The charges that Obama is an inexperienced neophyte are probably way overblown.”

    Yeah. After all he has 150 days in the US Senate.

  4. Poor Obama, people ARE starting to know him.
    Thats why his numbers are dipping.

    At this rate come november his ears will be drooping like Bob Doles thingamabobber!

  5. You know.. it really is a new day. A black man for president?? Wow.. I bet that is really going to piss off alot of people! Now, lets just think a moment. What excruciatingly intolerable sequence of events could have possibly been played out in order for such a shocking and abrupt call for CHANGE to be brought about? My message to all white supremacists and other republicans as well is to never forget how horrible the evil regime of the Bush dynasty actually was. It must take a really hard swallow for all of you to come face to face with this reality. Using the immorally-ill shock and awe method to terrify and control the population at large in order to coerce us all into going along with he, his daddy and evil v.p.’s little plan to line their pockets with the big blood bucks while the rest of us stuck in the real world are left to deal with the amazingly voluminous and ever-growing pile of garbage foul and potent enough to carry stench all the way up to the fore of the pearly gates, thus infuriating the very same Holy Being he used as a propaganda technique (as well as stolen votes in his own brother’s state), in order to take over the Whi–… err, no, “Gray House”!!! The people of America are so pissed off at this current administration that there is no way in hell we will allow them to continue to drag us further and further into this stinking death hole. Allocate money to build the 1 in 4 bridges across this nation in dire need of repair? No, throw it all into the war. Tend to the societal ills of poor education, especially in the low income neighborhoods, as well as poor occupational opportunities that plague these same areas our nation has so unjustly neglected and left for dead for ages? Nope, instead throw more money to the already extremely rich and well-off. Ahh, the Republican way. It really is a Grand Ole’ Party, ain’t it? Haha.. These are all the reasons why we demand change. You guys should really be pleased it’s just Barack and not just another unqualified bumbling fool like this one, ‘cause after this guy we would have been willing to put in ANYone who sounded like he at least half-way knew what he was doing.

  6. Consider, for a moment. Aaron’s comment is only as paranoid-delusional as the popular right-wing parallel; SECRET MUSLIMS through their sleeper cell, BARRY “Mammy” OBAMMY will CONQUER JESUSLAND because the LIBERALS and ISLAMO-NAZI-COMMIE-FASCISTS are JEALOUS OF OUR FREEDOMS!!!

  7. This is a lame article even by Jim’s usually low standards. If the cut ‘n’ paste-style distortion and petty sniping of Obama’s quotes don’t make it bad enough, the astoundingly distasteful ‘black house’ comment at the end wraps this up as the second worst piece of writing I have ever read (coming in just behind the bible).

    On top of this the article doesn’t even make sense. Jim trots out all these Obama blunders and gaffes but then tells us “Obama is really not as dumb as evidenced by his repeated speaking errors; he is just much more interested in style than substance”. So according to Jim Obama is making all these stylistic errors because he is more interested in style than substance……make sense, right?

    If we are to believe this article Obama is both a bumbling incompetant fool with big ears with no real plan other than ‘painting the white house black’ and a smart, calculating tactician who is stealthily manouvering his way into distinct policy positions based on measuring public opinion polls.

  8. We must keep up the empty anti-Obammy rhetoric, otherwise idiot lieberals will start to think he’s not a Black Panther Malcolm X secret Muslim Robert Mugabe-Stalin Martin Luther King-commie antichrist jew!

    Barack “Mammy” Obammy must be stopped before his evil schemes of fascist multiculturalism tear America apart into a UN New World Order ruled by Sharia and ruled by Mexicans and socialist european countries!!

  9. Nice to see all the liberal loons banding together in condemnation of anyone who remotely criticizes their chosen one. With all this talk of “empty vessel” going around you would think you guys could come up with at least one example of his being something more, such as a detailed plan what he is going to do about the economy or the war, or how he will accomplish this. Change change change, his great strategical masterpiece as of yet is taking $1000 dollars from decent hard working citizens (IE republicans) and giving it to anyone too stupid to obtain this amount on their own (IE democrats)and hope they dont spend it on crack and booze. Only a liberal could ideologically apply a windfall tax on one particular business they never liked in the first place (big evil oil companies) and sell it like some sort of reparations to underachievers (again catering to like minded losers) and at the same time broadening their base of morons, thus garnishing more votes which is the central theme behind this whole spectical in the first place. Very transparent you would think. Of course the left is banking on the fact, and rightly so, that the demographics involved, being penniless and not too bright but still able to vote, will be so overwhelmed with the prospect of “free monies” that they’ll completely ignore the fact that this plan is assinine by nature and could never be implemented anyway. It would be tied up in court for a thousand years. But by then it doesnt matter, they’ll have voted. How desperate an act this is I find unbelievable. I can picture him now at some swank hollywood gathering, rubbing elbows with micheal moore, lighting his cigar with a 50 dollar bill and laughing about how he will swoop the presidency by Waving shiney bobbles in front of drooling halfwits.

    I have no qualms with his being black, its more of his being an elitist asshole.

  10. Here’s something I don’t understand. How is Obama an elitist? It can’t be that he went to a liberal indoctrination camp, because Bush I and II also went to one. It can’t be that he buys expensive clothes, because nobody is jumping on McCain and his $500 shoes. It can’t be that he came from an upper class family of snobs, because his family was middle class and nobody accuses Bush of elitism for that. I think that elitist is just McCain campaign code-speak for “uppity negro”. Remember Karl Rove accusing McCain’s adopted Bangladeshi daughter of being his secret love child by a black woman? Oh lawdy!

  11. You should note that I do not think Obama is anything more than an “empty vessel” cruising on warm rhetoric. I was pointing out all of the ludicrous conspiracy nuts who accuse Obama of being

    -A black supremacist [White supremacists are fond of this one]
    -A Muslim in disguise [racists and Republican party fanatics are fond of this one]
    -A totalitarian communist [Jim and apparently yourself are fond of bandying this accusation around]
    -A Nazi fascist [I’m not sure if I saw it here, but too many revisionists like to equate Nazis with Communism somehow, I can’t understand how they equate anti-communism with communism]
    -The Antichrist [he’s a Democrat]

    Not to mention the absurd right-wing “theories” I have heard about how diversity is backdoor fascism and somehow one man will overturn 300 million Americans to implement

    -UN world government
    -Sharia law in America
    -Mexicans reclaiming California [why do ‘conservatives’ care, less California means less PINKO COMMIES]
    -Dissolution of the Union

    I’ve heard enough paranoid conspiracies about the man, if you want to denounce him then do it rationally for god’s sake.

    To Johnny: This was not targeted at you, but at everyone taking empty-headed partisan potshots at Obama instead of being civil and disagreeing with him like an adult. I agree with you that he’s got nothing special to offer, but I’ve got no time for your or anyone else’s unthinking partisan propaganda.

  12. I can’t think of any mainstream conservatives who have ACCUSED Obama of being a Muslim or a Nazi, and I challenge you to bring them to light if they exist somewhere other than your imagination. Most of them liken him to an elitist which is hardly a stretch given his rhetoric, and not too extreme in my OPINION.
    As for equating Nazism with communism only the uneducated would tread those waters.

  13. Jonny McB,
    “I can’t think of any mainstream conservatives who have ACCUSED Obama of being a Muslim.”

    How about Ann Coulter and her references to ‘Hussein Obama’?

  14. I never siad mainstream conservatives, I said “ludicrous conspiracy nuts”, of which there are too many.

    Also, the West Virginian woman who was interviewed on national TV and said she wasnt voting Obama in the primary because he was a Muslim [he’s not] is indicative of just how poorly informed or easily misled the electorate can be.

    And the infamous Karl Rove is working on the McCain campaign now, so we should all expect more racially charged lies and fearmongering to fly around in the coming months: Obama’s a Muslim terrorist liberal coward who wants America to LOSE a war!! to Muslims!!!

  15. No, it is Barack Hussein Obama. Coulter and others deliberately call him Hussein because they want to rhetorically connect him to Saddam Hussein and the Islamic terrorists that Coulter’s palz rhetorically connected to Saddam. Why else would they call him by his middle name when he has never gone by it?

  16. wheather he goes by it or not, it is his middle name and some thought went into it and he never adresses that. Its a hush hush third rail issue.

    And why are libs so afaid of this harmless moniker? Its because they know there is some significance behind it , not that he’s a flaming muslim but some kind of acknowledgement to something somewhere, and being in the political spotlight he should expect even ludicrous claims from nutjobs everywhere. So to not explain it comes across as a skeleton in his closet.

    If his name were Ahkmed Muhammad Hussein Alibabba you could argue there’s nothing in a name but he would still be hardpressed to win a presidential bid as most people conjour up images in their head when they know little or nothing about someone and a name is all they’ve got.

    Humans are a curious lot, and lets face it, its not exactly John Smith is it?

  17. Jonny McB,

    “And why are libs so afaid of this harmless moniker? Its because they know there is some significance behind it”

    They aren’t. What they are afraid of is that the neocons will repeat it over and over to conjure up negative images. Here’s how it works:

    1. Ann Coulter says “Hussein Obama” as a completely ‘harmless’ dig at Obama.
    2. *In the mind of your average dumb American voter in one of the swing states* – “Hussein” = Foreign (Arab, to be precise) = Muslim = 9/11 = Al Qaeda = terrorism = BAD!!!!!!!
    3. Votes go to the Republicans.

    A simple yet insidious tactic, which can easily be explained away by saying “well, it IS his name”, what’s your problem? Indeed it is his name, and there is nothing in a name, therefore normal commentators pay no attention to it. The neocons don’t seem as comfortable with it, however, which is why the likes of Coulter etc keep repeating it.

  18. “wheather he goes by it or not, it is his middle name and some thought went into it and he never adresses that. Its a hush hush third rail issue.”

    Yes. His PARENTS put some thought into it. Most people do not pick their own names. Why should he address it? He doesn’t go by that name, it’s just something that his detractors have picked up on as shorthand for “Obama is a secret Muslim he went to a Madrassaaaaaaaaa!”

    “And why are libs so afaid of this harmless moniker?”
    You’re mischaracterising the “liberal” response to Coulter’s and Jim’s Hussein dig. It is his detractors who act “afraid” of the Hussein “moniker”, because that serves their political interests; exaggerate his Muslimness to make him seem like a scary sharia terrorist to the ignorant masses. The “liberal” response to “Hussein Obama” is more angry criticism of propaganda than fear.

    “Its because they know there is some significance behind it , not that he’s a flaming muslim but some kind of acknowledgement to something somewhere”
    Yes. It’s an acknowledgment of his parents. Who named him. He didn’t choose his name to be an acknowledgment to anything because his parents chose his name for him!

    “So to not explain it comes across as a skeleton in his closet.”
    No it doesn’t. Why should he have to explain the obvious? His name is Barack Hussein Obama because his parents named him Barack Hussein Obama. It was not his decision. If he had legally changed his name to prevent these ridiculous allegations to are supporting, then his detractors would harp on him for dishonouring the name his parents chose for him, or they would call him Hussein anyway! There IS no issue here, it is one manufactured by Obama’s detractors.

    “most people conjour up images in their head when they know little or nothing about someone and a name is all they’ve got.”
    So, you acknowledge that “Hussein Obama” is purposefully misleading the uninformed electorate into a “Brown Scare”?

    And way for Sake Mike to confirm the race issue applies!

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